Hey Dr. Wendasha,
“How do I squirt?”
I’ve been asked this question at least a million times (probably more) since I started this sex education journey. Quite frankly, I am not surprised. Thanks to the overwhelming supply of free Internet porn, many have witnessed their favorite actresses’ mind-blowing ability to shoot large amounts of liquid from their vaginas onto their willing partners and/or cameras.
It truly leaves one to wonder: “How in the world did she climax like that and where can I sign up!” I get the fascination, but porn is long on the dramatics and short on the explanations. That is the nature of the business, right? Entertainment and money. However, I deal with sex in real life, with real people in real situations. So let’s get to the facts about the phenomenon known as “squirting”.
What, exactly, is squirting?
Squirting involves the release of clear, abundant fluid from the female genitalia during sex or orgasm. Because of the sudden gush, we often refer to squirting as female ejaculation (FE). But as science will have it, squirting and FE are not the same. A 2011 study stated that FE is the release of a very small amount of thick, whitish fluid from inside the vagina (NSFW: click here for a quick anatomy lesson), while squirting is simply a gush of diluted urine from the bladder. Squirting is basically involuntary peeing during sex, according to science.
But the jury is still out on this. Many argue that squirting is distinctly different from peeing and the fluid involved is biologically different from that of urine. Either way, more research is needed before we have solid conclusions.
What causes it?
Supposedly, squirting is achieved through the stimulation of the ever-elusive G-spot. This highly sensitive area of the vagina is thought to be located on the top wall of the vagina (look below). Many women have reported intense orgasms through direct simulation and pressure on this region.
Considering its location near the bladder, pressure on the G-spot can cause an intense urge to pee. This is why some report feeling sensation prior to squirting. Although G-spot simulation is considered an effective means of achieving the ever-elusive squirting orgasm, some women claim to achieve this feat through direct clit stimulation.
So what can I do to make the magic happen?
There is no secret, tried and true method to achieving a super soaker orgasm. But, there are some suggested practices to help you on your way:
- Digital Penetration A.K.A “Fingering”. This act can be done solo or partnered. Fingering is a good exercise for exploring your body and learning what feels good and comfortable to you. Also, for those of you who aren’t convinced it is not pee, use this opportunity as a practice run to calm your nerves and put your mind at ease.
- Sex toys. There are several adult toys aimed at G-spot and clitoral stimulation. With a little experimentation I’m sure you will find something that suits the needs of you and your partner. Check out your local sex shop or browse a few online stores to check out their bountiful stock.
- Find a suitable position. Cowgirl (female-on-top) and doggy style (male/partner-from-behind) have been said to provide pressure on the G-spot, increasing the odds of FE. But there are many more positions that provide stimulation, friction, and deep penetration needed to hit the G-spot. Just try some!
- Relax! Sex is supposed to be enjoyable, not stressful.
Will it actually work for me?
The jury is still out this one. Some believe all women are capable while surveys have suggested that between 10% and 50% of women can squirt. But there is no way of knowing unless you try. It may come easier for some than for others, but keep your expectations realistic. Not everyone is going to produce liters of fluid. Instead of a water hose, it may be more like a leaky faucet. Further, some will never be able to squirt, and that is fine too. Female bodies don’t have a specific sex organ that predetermines whether one can squirt or not. Besides, squirting and awesome sex are not one in the same.
So there you have it! Squirting 101. Now you can give it a try. If it doesn’t work the first time, try again. After that, just focus on having good, enjoyable sex. Sex is supposed to be fun and relaxing, not stressful and frustrating. After all, an orgasm, whether wet or dry, is still an orgasm right?